Part of Life : DotA

Defense of the Ancients

It has been my 7th year playing this multiplayer strategy-rpg game..
playing this games for that long period of time must have been change the way I behave, it affects how I socialize with others, it affects my perception of taking an information and how I express my opinion, furthermore it also affects skills and abilities that I've learned, that I wanted to learn, and also skills and abilities that I don't have or I don't want to learn...

DotA, as so many other popular games, has a really bad "image" in the eye of non-gamers, parents, and teachers, even the gamers themselves, including me, realized this fact.. but it is true that game is like a nicotine, game is like an alcohol or drugs, it has the addiction effect on you, that force you to have a great will to be able to resist the temptation of playing it.. and therefore, can we make a conclusion that gamers are just like smokers, alcoholics, or drug users are all weak-willed people? I must say that IMO, the answer is absolutely "no", some people have their own reason to keep playing games, to keep smoking, and to keep drinking alcohol, even in facts that they already know the bad effects of that habit,

Personally, I know I'm really addicted with playing DotA, and even I'm already 22 years old, I still playing it, and you know what? I also play it in my workplace, haha, didn't it make me seems like a bad person huh? Yeah, yeah, games are Venomous, games are poisonous that what most people said to me when they see me playing DotA, but it is true game is a toxic, it brings so many bad effects on me which is :
Addiction
I am addicted to DotA, yeah, I just don't know, it's really tempting for me, this game is like keep calling me to turn-on my PC or laptop, and start playing it, the first time I played this game, is when I was a 2nd grade-student in my Senior High School.. at that time, we were really not so addicted with this game, but when we start to understand the gameplay of that game, we started to get addicted to it, the peak of addiction was actually happen in our 3rd grade, when we have a spare time, between the regular school time and additional UN-prepared time, we always visit a gamenet that 5 minutes away from our school, but fortunately, we can control ourselves and hence we pass the exam with an exceed expectation marks, since we diligently studying together at that time. When I spent a month in ITS Surabaya, I never played this game again, and until I got accepted in STAN, I started to play again hehe, I am a type of person that is quick to understand but having a bad motivation to keep it good, I always perform outstandingly in my early years of study, and begin to sink in the middle years, and start to "bounce" again in the last period, therefore even I started to play DotA again, but I rarely done it, maybe it only 2-4 times a month (excluding solitary games, which is far more boring than battlenet), and when I become a 2nd grader, I started to over-played this game, it is really the time when I got "alienated" when I feel like I have my own realm, the time when I realized that people around me are having a hard time just to trying to "greet" me..

Something that is too "overly-done" is never been good, I spend too much time and money for playing, I started to get a B- mark, I am having a hard time socializing with friends and family, I begin to forget about priority, and the worst is, I even forgot to take care of myself, which is really pathetic, all of this are the effect of addiction.. I really grateful some people still reminds me about this, and it's time to gradually reduce the frequency right?

but talking about DotA, the effects are not always negative, I really got something useful from this game, people said, games increase your ability to think n react fast, it exercises your brains, it teach you how to mixed logic and creativity at the same time, it teaches you about teamwork, it teaches you about some computer and internet stuffs, it teaches you some rarely used vocabulary, and even DotA teaches you to respect others non-verbally, since it is an online games, games is always brings good for people who know how to use it, but in most cases, the addiction effect significantly beat the good one, people start to forget socializing in "real" word, start to yelling, flaming other players freely, forget to exercise their physical body, forget their lessons in school, forget their "real-world" friends, ignore their family, yeah, what is comes up is always the bad effects right?

And, so, should I stop? to 100% stop is really takes a long time, since DotA always giving me something that nothing is this real world gave me, it gives me the pride, since it is the only thing that I do great, something that I do better than most of my friends, something that most people admitted that I did really great at.. I was really bored to see or look at testimonials from my friends about me since my senior high school time, they always said that "He's calm" or "He's quiet person" or "He's Tall" or "He's Balinese" and even some testi like "He's smart",, wtf, smart? I never want to be a nerd really, Tall? isn't that obvious? Balinese? oh come on, did I always got attention because of that "difference"? I really grateful no one ever said "He's Hindu".. I just really want someone knows my inner-side, or at least praise me sincerely, that praise is something that I only go in DotA praise that is means lot more than a prize...


Haha, sharing something like this is always makes me relieve, and on the topic, I should've grown up, and I know, I should begin to reduce my gaming frequency, I hope that I can do it, good luck dude, hehe..


"do not over-analyzing, life is simple"
- The Holstee Manifesto, Lifecycle Video -

Reason for Love?

hari ini perasaan saya campur aduk, siang ini tiba-tiba saya dibuat speechless oleh sebuah message di akun facebook saya, dari seorang yang ya, baru 2-3 bulan ini saya kenal..

do we must have a reason to love somebody?
yes, there must be a reason..
I love you because, I love you, that's my reason..

but, seriously why me?
does this blog that you "accidentally" read, makes me look pity, and therefore you trying to "protect" me?, 

I am not romantic,

I am not athletic,

and I also bad at music,

I am not come from a rich family,

I am also a bad Hindu adherent

I am sucks at lessons

I got only a bit of experience

I even an ignorant child

I don't know well about my hometown

so what things from me that can attract you? 

you really deserve a much better person girl :)

 

Junk File #8

Dude, you know you just dragging down others..

Who are you? How dare you hoping others to make you feel special?

your friends, they are great, if they abandon you that's fine, they deserve a lot better friends than you are, did you ever give them anything "great"? You never teach them something useful, you can never give a good solution when they ask you something, and you just so different from them, it is actually they who always teach you something, they who always give you guidance, and they actually the one who always try to enter your realm, try to adapt themselves just to make you feel "easier" .remember being a parasite is awful dude!!

then I confuse, how can someone got "attracted" with you? compared to other man surrounds you, you have nothing against them, so, then I hope she will understand that you are not worthed for her, she deserves a better man to guide her..

yeah, it's ok if you got ignored or abandoned, cause again, they deserve a lot better than you dude!

"The weak can never forgive, forgiveness is the attribute of the strong"
- Mahatma Gandhi - 

50/50

it takes a pair to beat the odds..


Barusan saja saya selesai nonton film ini, dan entah kenapa pengen ngepost tentang film ini, 50/50 adalah film yang bercerita tentang seorang pemuda yang didiagnosis menderita penyakit kanker langka yang menghinggapi tulang belakangnya, dan bagaimana ia menjalani hidupnya sebagai orang sakit..

film-film dengan tema seperti ini mungkin bukan sesuatu yang langka, tapi saya benar-benar ga merasakan 100 menit menonton film ini, hehe entah kenapa saya merasa si pemuda ini memiliki beberapa kemiripan dengan saya, mulai dari ketidakmampuannya dalam berbagai hal, kesialannya dalam hubungan dengan seorang gadis, hidupnya yang monoton, bahkan ada beberapa bagian monolog atau responnya yang benar-benar mirip, seperti saat ia ditelfon ibunya dan ibunya berkata "I Love you" dia menjawab "me too" instead of "I love you too" atau saat ia mengakui bahwa dia tidak pernah "menembak seorang gadis", yah tipe pemuda yang butuh orang lain tapi menyukai kesendirian haha..

Film ini mampu menghadirkan suatu alur yang kompleks dengan tampilan dan setting yang sederhana, bagaimana kita melihat hidup dari mata seorang yang sakit, bagaimana jika kita harus menghadapi suatu operasi dengan kemungkinan hidup dan mati 50 banding 50? ya film ini memberikan suatu pelajaran sendiri bagi kita tentang menghargai momen, mensyukuri nyawa yang diberikan, memahami pentingnya keluarga dan seorang sahabat, sampai pelajaran bahwa cinta itu tidak butuh kesempurnaan, yah intinya ini film highly recommended lah saya ga ahli dalam mendeskripsikan suatu film dari segi teknis, seperti aktingnyalah, latar, atau musiknya, saya hanya bisa mendeskripsikan apa yang saya rasakan setelah menonton film ini hehe, but again this movie is great

"Every man that I met is always better than me at something, that's why I can always take a lesson from them"
- I Gde Nengah Tri Prasetya -

Mindshit!

Kapankah orang-orang ini bisa mensyukuri adanya perbedaan?
tak sadarkan mereka bahwa semua manusia itu unik?


Skepticism, again, I can't get rid off this behavior but it just annoys me, to see some of my friends acting like a jerk, yeah, I know that change is needed, but seriously, have you ever questioning some mindset that is given by others before you really try to accept that?

okay, let us suppose that we are books, your "given mindset" says don't judge the books by it's cover, but why in the hell you trying to be the "most good-looking" one?, oh come on, we are not a child anymore, an innocent child that could be easily fooled by simple "mindset" trick, why don't you try to understand that it is true that everyone can be a good the leader for himself, but not everyone is great to be a "society leader" which means that everyone is unique, and why don't just start to respect that? instead of trying to persuade someone else with a doctrine that even yourself didn't fully understand that doctrine?

yeah I know, change is really a great thing, I wanna change my bad habit, I wanna be more open, I wanna be more dependable, but changing yourself doesn't mean that you have to follow what others told you to be, it is just irrational, you are not a kid anymore, at least you have your own sort of idealism or original mindset, it is true that some of the lessons of life, can be taught or told by others, but the lesson that you got from your own experience, is far more precious than that, and it gives you a lot more to learn, that's why I really respect someone who calm, quiet, but have so many experiences, than someone who is keep annoyingly talking, bragging, persuading others with someone else's mindset or idealism that they are not even freakin understand about it..

yeah cause you know, sometimes, it isn't what you said, but it is what you left unsaid that really matters..

"People talk loud when they wanna act smart"
- Squidward Tentacles -