Junk File #7

sometimes, I wish I was as innocent as patrick star, who just doing whatever he likes, with a joyful smile and spirit..

never care about the complexity of this life, doing some crazy stuffs with his best buddies, and never think about what others think of him, yeah be yourself and do what you want to do, seems really wonderful..

but, we know too much about everything, we know that, we know this, and that knowledge become our self-frontier  when we want to do something, you know that smoking is bad hence, you don't smoke, you know that shoes is expensive so, you don't buy that, and you know some manners made you sometimes don't do what you love to do..

It sounds kinda pity doesn't it? when our knowing is exactly something that made us become somebody else, something that prevent us to do what we like.. but I must admit that for entire community that "knowing" is really helpful, making this world a really better place for us, but again it is really-really weird, I don't get it..


"Knowledge can't replace friendship, I'd rather be an idiot than lose you"
- Patrick Star -

Loss

it takes a loss before you found, doesn't it?

Hidup itu memang sebuah misteri yang tak satupun manusia di dunia ini yang bisa memecahkannya, kebahagiaan dan kesedihan itu bisa datang dengan hanya berselang beberapa hari bahkan beberapa menit, menandakan bahwa sebenarnya kedua hal itu bersifat relatif dan sementara.

Orang bijak sering mengatakan disaat kau bahagia, nikmatilah momen bahagiamu itu sebab momen itu hanya akan berlangsung sementara, sebaliknya jika kau sedang sedih, tahanlah kesedihanmu itu sebab hal itu juga hanya akan berlangsung sementara.

Kebanyakan seseorang akan menghibur temannya dengan menjadi sosok yang bijak, mengeluarkan kata-kata hiburan yang menenangkan, yah hal yang pantas dilakukan bagi mereka yang pernah mengalami hal buruk yang sama, namun ketika kau belum pernah merasakannya dan seorang temanmu membutuhkan kata-kata itu, bisakah kau mengeluarkannya?

Awal minggu ini saya mendapatkan berita yang sangat tidak mengenakkan dari Diah, adik kandungnya meninggal dunia akibat keserempet di jalan, menyesakkan memang, apalagi kejadian ini terjadi hanya berselang 2 minggu setelah om yang dekat dengannya juga meninggal akibat penyakit yang dideritanya, begitu mengetahui berita itu dari seorang teman, saya langsung menelfonnya, dan begitu ia mengangkatnya tebak apa yang saya katakan? TIDAK ADA!, saya benar-benar speechless saat itu, dan beberapa detik selanjutnya saya hanya bisa mendengar isak tangisnya tanpa bisa mengatakan apapun, sambil sesekali ia mengatakan betapa jelek sekali nasibnya, dan betapa kejamnya dunia ini terhadapnya, beberapa detik kemudian kembali saya hanya mendengar isak tangisnya dan satu-satunya kalimat yang bisa saya katakan hanya "yang sabar ya".

Sungguh bodoh memang, hanya itu yang bisa saya lakukan, padahal saya benar-benar mengerti bahwa ia adalah sosok wanita yang kuat, dan kali inilah untuk pertama kalinya saya mendengarnya menangis, yang berarti bahwa kejadian tersebut benar-benar membuatnya terpukul, saya mengerti rasa sedihnya, tapi saya masih belum bisa merasakannya, sebab saya sendiri belum pernah mengalaminya.

Banyak yang bilang, kau akan merasa memiliki setelah kau pernah merasakan kehilangan, dan tahukah kita mengapa ada suatu ruangan khusus di bandara diberi nama "Lost and Found" bukan "Found and Lost"?ya secara logis jelas, kita akan menemukan sesuatu setelah kita kehilangannya, jika tidak ada yang hilang berarti kita tidak usah mencarinya bukan?

lama-lama malah ngelantur omongannya,
anyway, be tough girl! cuma itu yang bisa ku bilang everything happen for a reason, and you must believe that God has the best reason. memang kalau nulis lebih gampang daripada ngomong langsung.. and please tell  me how it feels when you losing someone you loved, before God give me the chance to feel it by myself..


"When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust him fully because only one of two things will happen :  Either He will catch you when you fall or He will teach you how to fly"
- Pravs. J -

Junk File #6

What is the downside of having a melancholic personality?

• first, when something unusual or unexpected happen, you will always become over thinking about the reason behind that situation.
• second, you can even possibly wasting minutes or even hours of your spare time just to keep questioning about too many unimportant matters.
• third, you become too aware of what surrounds you, hence making you feel down when you shouldn't need to, 
• fourth, you will tend to lowly-valued yourself, keep blaming yourself for something that sometimes, even wasn't your fault.

ya, although it is only the secondary type, but it affects that much, and yes, one or two friends already told me that I shouldn't keep blaming myself, but again it is difficult you know...

"if you don't understand my silence, how will you understand my words?"
- SayingImages.com -

Awkward Award

I honestly said that it is clear that recently, I become a really awkward person to be talked or interacted with, I just can sit down or walk or standing in front or behind or beside or even adjoin to each other without saying any single word or discussing any topic for a quite long period of time.

It usually happen in form of three cases, first, in a place where a large group of people are gathered and discussing something that is funny/happening in a very informal way, but suddenly when that group of people start to discuss the main reason why they are gathered in a quite formal way, the moment of awkwardness is completely gone.. second, it is often happened when I'm with someone I close with, for example my Father or my older brother, i don't know, it is feel so hard just trying to say "What's up?" or "How is it going?" when we personally talk or meet, or when I'm with some of my friends, I don't know what topic to discuss with them, although they already open the conversation by discussing something that I really understand or know,, third the awkward moment usually happen when I meet specific type of person, maybe that person is someone that I admired, perhaps I'm 100% really don't know her/him and there are really nothing that connects us, or it is not impossible that the person is someone that I really uncomfortable with since the beginning haha.

Yah, I can only say sorry, and hope that they are understand it, btw, making this post is a kinda awkward moment too hehe..

"There isn't a person alive who knows everything about himself. You can't always know what's right or wrong"
- Reid Hershell, Tales of Destiny II -

Only Human

kenapa saya suka sekali mempertanyakan segala sesuatu yang terjadi..
terus-menerus mengkritisi sikap dan perbuatan orang lain..
yah namanya juga manusia, masih perlu banyak belajar..
pasti itu alasan yang keluar dari mulut saya..
haha we're only human right? :p

Only Human (Jason Mraz)

A squirrel in the tree is he watching me
Does he give a damn?
Does he care who I am?
I'm just a man, is that all I am
Are my manners misinterpreted words or
only human?
I'm human
Murderous crow, hey what you know
What you reading about, what you hold in your toes
Is that a twig, are you a dove of peace
A black dove undercover, with another
puzzle piece
Are you a riddle to solve all along?
Or am I over thinking thoughts of human after all
Only human
Made of flesh, made of sand, made of human
The planet's talking about a revolution
The natural laws ain't got no constitution
They've got a right to live their own life
But we keep paving over paradise
'˜Cause we're only human
Yes we are, only human
If it's our only excuse do you think we'll keep on being only human
Yes we are, yes we are
Only human, only human, only human
So far, so far..
Up in the major's tree, the one he planted back when he was just a boy
Back in 1923
Thirty meters and a foot, take a look, take a climb
What you'll find is the product of a seed
The seed is sown, all alone
It grows above, with a heart of love
Sharp and shelter of the animals of land and cold weather breathing
We're all breathing in
The planet's talking about a revolution
The natural laws ain't got no constitution
They've got a right to live their own life
But we keep paving over paradise
'˜Cause we're only human
Yes we are, only human
If it's our only excuse do you think we'll keep on being only human
Yes we are, only human, only human, so far, so far
And this place it will outlive me
Before I get to heaven I'll climb that tree
And I will have to give my thanks
For giving me the branch to swing on
If I ever fall in love
I'll have to give myself a baby
I will let my children have their way
'˜Cause we're only human, yes we are
Only human, so far, so far

Welcome december 2011, last year I talked about resolution, and up until now I've never planned any resolution yet haha..


"I’m using my left-brain and I’m righting all my wrongs"
- Jason Mraz, Clockwatching -